The news of Professor Steven Saideman’s departure from McGill comes as solemn news to his many devoted minions and zealous compatriots in the Department of Political Science. Not only will his stately hair be sorely missed by the proud young flag-bearers of revolution whom his knowledge has so impacted, but inquiries have been raised as to where exactly he is going, and why.
The former faithful comrade has signalled to sources that he is indeed headed to the bastion of Arch-Right rhetoric itself, Carleton University, in the pig-controlled metropolis of Ottawa. The Department of Political Science has not commented on the purpose of his departure, but followers of Saideman are assured that he has noble goals.
Interviewed members of the cult to his heroic personality have expressed faith that Professor Saideman’s purposes in the City of Capitalist Filth are to remove the Albertan Counterrevolutionary Pig-dog himself, Prime Minister Steven Harper, and replace him with an ambitious political apprentice of Dear Leader Knight.
The members shuddered at the name of the blood-run city, which strikes disgust and loathing into the hearts of all noble proletarians, and yet Saideman has released clear hints to his intentions. Not only has he broadcasted the existence of a past group on the Socialist Networking site facebook that lauded his merit as a Stalinist dictator, but is also spending several lectures of his Civil-Military Relations course demonstrating his vast knowledge of the processes of military coups.
Though his revolutionary merit and brave defamation of capital have long been subjects of admiration by campus cadres, it is likely that his sudden departure is due to the growth in Fascist control of Politbureau operations, and corruption of area youths by the omniscient influence of Dr. Morton J. Mendelsohn. Escalation of his puppeteering in university affairs have drawn significant attention from Party leaders, and growing pig indulgence by Rightist power-brokers clearly must be purged at the source.
MARP supports Saideman’s campaign to destroy the enemies of Communism, wishes him the swiftness and grace of the Revolutionary Spirit, and thanks him in the name of the Dear Leader Knight.
Report filed by: Leona Trotsky