According to reports relayed to the MARP from spies planted inside the currently occurring AUSbureau meeting, the AUS General Assembly and Strike Vote is facing a crushing defeat by bourgeois politics.
To inform those who do not know: last week, AUSbloc members uncovered a loophole in the fascist constitution of the AUSbureau which allows for mass petitions to be submitted as a bribe in exchange for a General Assembly, but the AUSbureau has been dragging their feet in returning the favour.
AUSbureau President Jade Calver told the MARP that Official Controller of Discourse Ben Lehrer had been unavailable for weeks as he was trying to kick his inhalant abuse habit at a Californian rehab clinic and that it was impossible to schedule the GA without his consent.
On 18 Jan, 2012, the AUSbureau met in their subterranean dungeon and Lehrer finally reared his ugly head to inform the plebeians that their concerns are irrelevant.
“I don’t give a fuck that the petition said the 24th, and I don’t give a fuck who signed it — it’s on the 31st,” Leher spat during the meeting. He refused further comment, choosing instead to duck behind Leacock to take huffs from a compressed-air computer-duster for a few minutes.
Furthermore, AUSbureau Socialist Drinking Planner Jason Karmody chose to extend himself beyond his usual responsibilities of organizing the distribution of subsidized beers at Bar des Arts. Karmody motioned out-of-order for Strike Vote quorum requirements to be changed, which was forced onto the agenda while Lehrer was out riding buzzwaves.
Local AUSbloc members attempted to protest the AUSbureau meeting, but were sent to die in heat-related torture camps in the AUS Computer Lab.
Currently, local communists and anarchists are meeting and discussing how to best crush the futile posh politicking and institute a complete Proletarian dictatorship.
Report filed by: Karlos Marx