The MARP has received reports that no more than 30 – 60 Radical Students have succumbed to death by boredom at 6 Mar 2012 SSMU Candidates Debate.
As the Radicals seized up and ultimately passed on, Moderate Students claimed that they were “over-exaggerating” and called the SPVM.
When the Riot Squad arrived on the scene, they figured it was just another “die-in” and informed the students that they were being evicted.
The students were unresponsive, so the Pigs tried to lift the bodies — but they were completely limp!
Keeping one’s body limp in the event of arrest is a well known subtle resistance tactic because it requires many officers to move one body. At this point, the Riot Squad chose to charge all of the dead students with “Resisting Arrest” and mist them gently with Industrial-Strength Bear-Spray.
We at the MARP know that we cannot endorse any candidates for SSMU Elections because that would be tantamount to character assassination for any aspiring student politician.
Report filed by: Karlos Marx