At last night’s Consultation Fair, Deputy Vanguard Piglet Provost Anthony Masi was seen oinking rudely. Several other members involved with the Administrative LFUPS (Let’s Fuck Up Poor Students) Committee also participated in the event. A major highlight of the event was the “Freedom-of–expression” table — hosted by DVPP Masi himself. These are my reports from my time at the table listening to Little Piggy-Wiggy.
To begin discussion, Masi offered this jingoistic tart: “students have the right to do whatever they want, but they have to be willing to face the consequences of their actions.”
When asked what that would entail, he replied, “Well it depends, a protest for example, will get you thrown into the Blackader-Lauterman Dungeon — profanity, for example, would get you a belt spankin’.”
Masi posed many attempts to divert attention away from the topic of Freedom of Speech throughout the discussion. This was probably due to his Freedom of Speech-phobia, which is reinforced by repression under the HMB in Senate.
Masi also exposed his Systematic Sexist Ideology in November 2011, when he called for Masculinization of campus to follow the efforts of James McGill himself
Towards the end of the meeting, students (“radicals”) went on to tell Masi that they won’t take his “paternalist-chauvinist-protectionist-pig-bullshit” — but also using terms like “fuck” and “liar”.
Masi attempted to provide a belt spankin’ in accordance with Article 3591 of the McGill Charter of Granted Student Rights that states: “Students may not commit conspiracy to (ie. think about), or engage in acts of freedom of expression on campus.” He was violently pushed down the stairs by the crowd and later tended to his bruised ego over a butter-fried steak and a bottle of merlot.
Several Administrators were left severely traumatized after the incident — but many women, queers, people of colour, manarchists, reactionary-liberals, allies, fiberals, radicals, terrorists, and other cool cats reported feeling a deep level of SYMBOLIC catharsis — because meaningful victories come through results.
Report filed by: Marcel Tucholsky